DEAR DEIDRE: My girlfriend and I have had a very “on-off” relationship for more than ten years.
The problem has always been with our children not accepting each other. But during a recent break-up she got together with a younger man and now I’m struggling to move on.
We are both 42 and when we met, my girlfriend was divorced with a seven and eight-year-old. I was separated, with three boys of six, eight and ten.
The kids were fine at first but as they got to know one another, they’d fight. It caused my girlfriend and me to argue and we’d have periods apart.
Besides our kids’ relationships, we always got along well, so we started to see one another again when the children were with our exes.
But recently we had a huge argument and stayed apart for months.
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My girlfriend would normally text but this time there was silence.
I asked if she had somebody else and she said yes. It was a guy of 35, who I know. She told me they’d had sex several times.
We are now back together but I keep thinking about her having sex with him.
I can’t eat or sleep and I’m even off work because of what she has done to me.
DEIDRE SAYS: She shouldn’t have gone with somebody else without talking to you about your relationship first. You understandably feel hurt and betrayed.
The good news is that she is willing to try again and she has been honest with you.
Now you have every chance of putting this right.
It may take a while to regain the trust and you are going to have to find ways of dealing with your images of them together.
Make plenty of good memories together to help. My support pack, Dealing With Jealousy, will help you.