DEAR DEIDRE: I THOUGHT I’d found my perfect partner until her ex popped up on Facebook.
We’ve been together for five years.
I’m in my early 60s, and my partner is in her late 50s.
She’d mentioned his name while we were on a dog walk, and I didn’t think anything of it.
However, he came up under the “people you may know” tab, so I had a look at his profile.
My heart dropped when I found out my partner had commented “looking good x” on two of his recent photos.
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He is everything I’m not; toned, muscular, and handsome.
She has never commented that I look good in any of my photos.
I noticed the name of his partner and that they’d only been together for a few months.
Then I realised I knew this woman and that my partner had quizzed me about her before.
When I asked why, she just said, ‘Oh, it’s just a name I’ve seen on Facebook.’
If she’s not interested in her ex, why would she ask me?
Am I overreacting, or should I be worried about this?
READ MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Do not worry. Your partner and this man are history.
He is with someone else, and she is with you.
She may say he looks good on social media, but you also said the same thing yourself.
It probably feels odd because he is another man.
We can all fancy other people even when we’re in committed relationships or even when we’re married – it’s whether we do something inappropriate that counts.
However, I’d recommend that you strengthen and improve your relationship rather than dwell on what could be and assume the worst.
Tell your partner you’d like to spend more time together.
You could have date nights and perhaps even a weekend away.
My support pack How To Look After Your Relationship will help you nurture and improve the bond between you both.
And you should also rerad my support pack on Jealousy, which has useful tips in case you ever come across a similar situation in your relationship again.
