They look at my collection, and instead of seeing simple collectibles, I’m afraid they only see dollar signs.
When their parents first started forcing them to visit me, they were rather reluctant, had an attitude towards me, locked themselves in my spare room and buried themselves in their cell phones.
However, when they finally learned about my Beanie Baby collection, things changed. Now when they come to visit, they are much more cheerful, have a pleasant conversation with me, and help me around the house. Once they even brought a friend to look at my collection.
I’d like to believe they’re just maturing in their characters, but a small part of me fears they’re just nice enough to get into my collection. Amy, I’d like to give them the benefit of the doubt, but am I naive?
Dear Grandma: The whole Beanie Baby collectible phenomenon is either a really weird valuation bubble or a real gold mine – depending on which Beanie Babies you own and what source you check to determine their value.
Your attitude towards your granddaughters is… not ideal. Of course these teens are interested in this collection of yours! Isn’t this something you have in common? You can get in touch with them by enlisting their help to research the value of some of these particular toys.
Questions to ask yourself are: Do you see this toy as an investment, with plans to sell it someday? Or do you just enjoy the process of collecting them?
How do you envision your granddaughters getting to your collection? Do you think they hope you give them some of these collectibles, or leave these toys to them after you die? Are you afraid they will be tempted to take them?
I suggest you choose to think of your granddaughters as the most valuable Beanie Babies in your collection: in pristine condition, complete with their original tags.
If you showed as much curiosity and interest in them as you invested in your collection, then your relationship would be closer and you could be closer and more confident about their motives today.
Dear Amy: As an adopted and biological parent, I must correct your advice to “Anxious aunt”, the sister who did not heed her brother’s wish to have contact with his biological daughter.
Going against her brother’s wishes to connect with his daughter was bad enough. Please don’t encourage her to violate his wishes again by involving the grandmother. This sister has no sense of boundaries and I doubt she knows when to stop.
If he were dead, I’d say go for it, but he’s the father, and as long as he lives, it’s his choice. This is his life, his daughter, his decision.
DNA results can cause a lot of pain and resentment if they’re thought (and often promised) in a vault forever.
Dear Anonymous: Thanks for offering your perspective. Other readers agree with you. This was not described as a case of a child being given up for adoption with sealed records, but of a biological father simply unaware that he had fathered a daughter 40 years ago.
The adult daughter found and welcomed contact with her biological relatives – as everyone has a right to try.
The biological father did not want to have a relationship with her and that is his choice. But he also didn’t want any of his relatives to have a relationship with her.
In my opinion, he should not be able to control all contacts with other biological relatives. They are all adults and should be allowed to have relationships with each other if they want to.
Dear Amy: The questions you get about weddings – and mastering “Bridezillas” – amaze me. Thank you for quoting Ms. Manners recently: “Wedding guests are people, not props.”
Dear Grateful: Miss Manners is a source of timeless wisdom. I borrow from the best.
© 2023 by Amy Dickinson. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency.