IF you’re a strange enough person to train to become a referee, there’s one excellent rule of thumb you’re supposed to live by.
If nobody notices you, you’ve had a good game. And if you hardly ever get noticed, you’re a bloody good ref.
7
7
I never was a particularly good ref. I jacked it in after 18 months – not long after a woman running the line for her son’s Under-12s team likened me to Adolf Hitler because I over-ruled her offside decision.
If you’re being compared to a genocidal maniac, I figured, then the low-profile thing isn’t really happening.
Which brings us to Mark Clattenburg, who has never run a Reich either, but who certainly seems to have debunked the ‘quiet-ref-is-good-ref’ myth.
The perma-tanned Geordie – now causing a stir at Nottingham Forest as the Premier League’s first referee analyst – was a ref for the Instagram age.
He took charge of the Champions League Final and had a tattoo of the trophy on his arm. Likewise the Euro 2016 final.
He broke rules by travelling from a match alone because he had Ed Sheeran tickets.
He was at the centre of a sewage storm over a verbal bust-up with Chelsea players. And another about his business debts. And another about Craig Bellamy.
Yet despite his limelight-hogging, Clattenburg was undoubtedly one of the world’s best referees.
CASINO SPECIAL – BEST CASINO WELCOME OFFERS
At the height of his powers, Clattenburg quit to take a job at the Saudi FA. Then similar posts in China, Egypt and Greece, where he met Forest owner Evangelos Marinakis.
And now on TV’s Gladiators, where he arbitrates on lycra-clad contestants rolling around in giant hamster balls.
So it’s fair to say Clattenburg isn’t one for the quiet life – just like his new boss, the ‘larger-than-life’ Marinakis.
So after Paul Tierney dropped an almighty conker during injury-time, then Liverpool scored a 99th-winner to defeat Forest on Saturday, it was little surprise to hear of Marinakis kicking off in the tunnel and Clattenburg giving media interviews in the City Ground’s ‘mixed zone’.
Now Tierney was clearly wrong to award a drop ball to Liverpool after he’d halted a Forest attack so that Ibrahima Konate could receive treatment.
One minute and fifty seconds later, Darwin Nunez scored the only goal. So yes, Forest were hard done by, but who knows, Liverpool might have scored a late winner anyway. Liverpool usually do.
The question is ‘what on Earth is Clattenburg doing at Forest?’
To me, it’s obvious why Clattenburg took the job. Same as most people take most jobs, for money.
But why did Marinakis take the unprecedented decision to add a former ref to his club’s staff?
Interestingly, it doesn’t appear to be to educate players on the laws of the game.
Forest skipper Ryan Yates says he hasn’t spoken to Clattenburg since the club employed him a fortnight ago.
My conclusion, then, is that Marinakis appears to believe Clattenburg’s appointment might influence top-flight referees, some of whom are his friends, to give Forest more favourable decisions.
This is not to imply that Premier League refs are in any way easily influenced. It’s always best to assume cock-up rather than conspiracy on that front.
Nor even to infer that Marinakis feels they might be influenced.
Just that – perhaps in some intangible way – Clattenburg’s appointment might sway even one key decision in Forest’s favour. A decision that might be the difference between relegation and survival.
Otherwise, what’s the point of employing him?
Howard Webb, head of refereeing body PGMOL, had no prior knowledge of Clattenburg’s appointment and can do nothing about it.
And Pgmol insist Clattenburg will receive no favourable treatment, compared to any other club official who asks for clarification over decisions.
Half an hour after the final whistle, managers or other club staff are allowed to request to speak to a ref.
Interestingly, in his post-match interviews on Saturday, Clattenburg stated that he asked to speak to Tierney in the referees’ room and Tierney refused.
Yet this was only because another Forest staff member had already done so.
But Clattenburg’s Forest gig could be troublesome for Premier League chiefs.
During Forest’s FA Cup home clash with Manchester United last week, Clattenburg and Webb were shown on BBC TV sitting next to one another and chatting.
Webb watches one or two games per week live and chose Forest v United, with the home club deciding to sit the pair together.
Clattenburg has been very critical of Pgmol and the two former elite refs are not bosom buddies.
And United were awarded a late winner despite a long VAR check.
But what if Forest had been awarded that major decision?
Would it have looked good for Webb and Clattenburg to be seen chatting?
Maybe we are just being too cynical and suspicious.
But, more pertinently, Marinakis appears to be motivated by the possibility of marginal gains.
And if there is any suggestion that employing Clattenburg might do Forest any good at all, then many more clubs will seek to add former refs to the payroll.
Maybe we will then see two ex-refs working as club analysts for rival clubs speaking to the media post-match, giving opposing views on controversial decisions.
And maybe referees themselves might start speaking after matches, as they often did a couple of decades ago.
Or maybe my old refereeing instructor was right all along. That a good ref is a ref you never notice.
TIME TO SWITCH
7
FOOTBALL lawmakers seem hell-bent on tinkering with the world’s most popular game in umpteen different ways.
Yet the most obvious beneficial major change, the introduction of a stop clock to erase controversies over time-keeping, is always ignored.
The extraordinary decision to disallow Jude Bellingham’s ‘winner’ for Real Madrid against Valencia, because the referee had blown the final whistle a second earlier, was only extraordinary because there was no clock with an official end point.
Covention has it that referees tend not to blow for full-time at such a point, but why rely on vague conventions when this is a flashpoint which could be easily averted?
A NOD TO ART
7
WHAT a wonderful Saturday it was for lovers of good, old-fashioned, towering, headed goals.
Due to widespread copycat Pep Guardiola tactics — as well as concerns over concussion — the sight of a big centre-forward taking a leap and nutting one home has become increasingly rare in the Premier League.
But this weekend we saw Liverpool’s Darwin Nunez, Everton’s Beto, Fulham’s Rodrigo Muniz and Nicolas Jackson of Chelsea all reviving this ‘dying art’.
ALL TOGETHER NOW: “WALLOP!”
7
IT’S never great for a manager when his club’s supporters turn on him — but it’s not necessarily fatal.
But when the fans turn on the club’s owner, that’s when the manager tends to get sacked pretty damned soon.
So while Mauricio Pochettino won’t have enjoyed Chelsea fans telling him to “f*** off” at Brentford this weekend, he should be far more concerned about the Blues faithful calling Todd Boehly a “c***”.
NEV-ER MIND THEM
7
LAST week’s Premier League news cycle was dominated by Mauricio Pochettino responding to Gary Neville’s criticism of Chelsea, and Erik ten Hag having a pop at Jamie Carragher over his criticism of Manchester United.
There is one way to avoid all this.
Just stop talking about what Neville and Carragher think. It only encourages them.
WHITE TIME WHITE PLACE
7
JIMMY WHITE’S life story is to be the subject of a Hollywood movie.
Given Tinseltown loves a happy ending, the six-time World Snooker Championship runner-up might finally get to see himself lifting the trophy at the Crucible.
